I Love My Children, but . . .

Moms Write with Amber Roshay

Before I became a mom, my best friend told me that she was excited about the weekend because she was going to be away from her kids. I have to admit, I judged her a little bit. Fast forward to two kids later, and I know exactly how she feels. I love my children, but there are times I can’t wait to get away from them.

There are times that I want to hide in the bathroom with a magazine and a chocolate bar.

There are times that I dream of my toddler being able to work the remote and get his own snack, while I sleep past six am.

But when I tell this to people, I can’t just say that I want to hide; I have to make sure that I always begin with, “I love my children, but. . . “.

For the most part, loving one’s…

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Motherhood, Tongue-tie and Breastfeeding

I recently had an article I wrote based on my experience breastfeeding with a tongue-tied baby. I would love your feedback. Also, if you know anyone who might benefit from this information please share it with them.


Book Launch & Updates

Eli turned 1 last month and this is the first time I’ve had time to write about it. We had a smashing birthday with close family. He got his first taste of chocolate and Bavarian creme. The look on his face was priceless. The best part was when he decided that scooping up handfuls with his hands wasn’t enough, but needed to face plant in the chocolate goodness over and over again. I know most parents find pictures of their kids covered in food hilarious, but this takes the cake (yes, pun intended). We laughed and laughed at his devouring antics.


Every day with this kid gets better. I couldn’t be thankful enough for this whippersnapper. If only he’d grow out of the oral fixation stage. Everything, I mean everything goes in his mouth. He’s basically been sick off and on for the past six months. I’ve become an expert at fevers, coughs, snot, and rashes. My friends look to me for advice. His favorite activity is to walk around the house with one object in each hand. He likes to suck as he walks. Oh yeah, he started walking around 11 months. Walking for him is his Picasso. He’s completely proud of himself and loves for me to admire him. Now he’s climbing and it goes on from there. I’m also 30 weeks pregnant, so running after him is a challenge. I become winded from the refrigerator to the bedroom door. I can’t see my feet and feel big as a house. I like to refer to myself as a ripening winter melon.

Eli_1 year.jpg

Our baby girl will be here in 10 weeks and this still stuns me. I’m not ready and don’t know if I will be. We still don’t have a name. Hubby and I can’t seem to agree on one. Other than the name game, everything is progressing healthily with the pregnancy. Eli was high risk, so every week was a milestone. So far baby girl has been easy. Oh, except for the heartburn, the urge to pee, and insomnia.

I had a moment the other day coming to terms with the fact at how lucky I am to be pregnant spontaneously at 41 after trying for so many years. This baby was meant to come and instead of being petrified at having two, I should be celebrating.

On a me update, the co-written romance novel that has a infertility story line was released yesterday. I wrote the novel with my college best friend, and it was truly a collaborative experience from the beginning. The genre is romance with a literary bent and for our first effort I’m really proud.

The Proposition_cover

***Need a sexy contemporary romance to keep you warm this fall? Meet a hot billionaire who knows how to get what he wants and a feisty heroine who is resistant to his charms in THE PROPOSITION. FREE with KU or buy it at:

Amazon E-book: http://tinyurl.com/hlwtdsf
Amazon Paperback: http://tinyurl.com/j4eyvuo



The Proposition – Coming Soon

After my son was born, I began to co-write a romance novel with my best friend from college under the pseudonym Anna Starr. The heroine in the story deals with infertility issues while trying to find love. It will come out at the end of September. We really hope that reading about characters dealing with the silence of infertility will help give this important issue a voice.

Anna Starr, Author


We are excited to announce that our romance novel The Proposition will make its debut in September 2016. It will be available both in print and kindle editions on Amazon. This collaborative effort is both sweet and spicy. We can’t wait to share it with you!

The Proposition

At a charity event in San Francisco, Hannah confronts Rowan, a rich playboy. His family foundation has denied a grant for her non-profit and she needs him to reconsider. Rowan proposes a proposition. He’ll give her charity one hundred thousand dollars out of his own pocket if she agrees to his three conditions.The Proposition_cover

Still stinging from divorce and infertility struggles, Hannah has closed herself off to love. She’s hesitant to take him up on his offer but fears she can’t afford not to.

Rowan has also suffered heartbreak at the hands of his cheating fiancé. And because he’s from a famous wealthy family…

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Motherhood: 10 Things I’ve Learned

Eli_Bike_11 Months

As we approach my sons 1st birthday, I’ve begun to contemplate what I’ve learned as a new mother. It then occurred to me that possibly I haven’t learned anything. This couldn’t be true, right? So I humbly offer you my Top 10, hoping that these will resonate with you.

  1. Poop does come in many different shapes and sizes
    Not to mention smells. You can learn a lot from your little one’s poop – what they’ve eaten, how much water they’ve had, and if they’re sick. I’ve learned to love my baby’s poop.
  2. Scary mommy happens
    I like to think of myself as a patient person, but I do have scary mommy moments. One example of this is the many ways I can say no. Nooooo. Okay, no. That’s a no. NO!!
  3. Watching your child walk for the first time is golden
    Before I had my son, I thought I would forever want him to be a baby. The idea of him growing up, filled me with anxiety. Now, I’ve realized that watching him grow is perhaps the most amazing process I’ve ever witnessed. When he took his first steps, excitement filled me and as a I watched him lumber towards me, I couldn’t wait for him to run. Okay, then he fell over and scraped his nose.
  4. It’s the little things
    Socks, toys, books, and shoes oh my. Before bed there is the ritual of gathering all the little things scattered around the house and putting them back into place. Finding the diaper cream, having been sucked on and discarded in the corner, and then puttin it back to its rightful place on the changing table. Organizing the chewed on books on the shelf from smallest to biggest. Taking the time to re-place all the tolietry bottles and bath toys in the bathtub, so that when I shower I don’t accidentally fall. Plunking all the balls, stuffed animals, and puzzle pieces from the floor and back into the toy box. Gathering all the discarded bobbles and sighing. Not a short sigh, but one that resonates throughout the body. Being a mom is definitely about all the little things.
  5. Alarm clocks are so 2000’s
    There was a time when an alarm was necessary. I needed the annoying whine to drag my weary body out of bed. Without an alarm clock I would be late for work, late for yoga, or just plain late. Now, my sons gurgles or calls wakes me up at exactly 6:00 am. If he sleeps longer, I worry. Is he alive? Did someone snatch him? Still I set an alarm. It’s the old me resisting the new me, even though my new alarm clock is ten times more efficient and cuter.
  6. Sloppy hugs and kisses
    There was a time in my life when hugs and kisses didn’t mean a smear of saliva and forgotten biscuit. I keep wipes handy and when my son reaches up with his gooey hands, pulls my face to his, and smears drool all over my face, and gives me his wet tongue, I resign myself to the fact that kisses are still warm, just full of germs.
  7. Nana is banana
    Babies have their own language. And I wouldn’t have believed it before I was a mom that you can in fact understand them. Sometimes it’s easy, like when you say banana, he says nana. Other times you can decipher that na da means where’s dad? And nu huh means, well, I haven’t figured that one out yet. But when you do for sure understand those moments of nana means banana makes you realize that you’re in this together.
  8. You can’t protect them enough
    This is something that scares me the most. I can protect my son from all the horrible things that do and could happen in life. I worry that I will make a mistake by leaving him with the wrong person or forgetting to close the bathroom door. There are a million different things that could go wrong, and the realization that I’m not enough fills me with dread.
  9. Cute and annoying
    Yes, it’s true. You love them. You think they’re the cutest being on the planet. You count their new teeth, proud of their appearance. When they sleep you compare them to a Roman Emperor. Those empanada hands and feet are soft and delectable. Yet, they’re annoying.  What do you mean you found the remote control hidden away under two blankets and three pillows? Hey, get out of the trash, that’s no place for a baby? All I want to do is take your temperature. Wiping your nose won’t cause you to have a seizure. So yes, they’re cute and annoying.
  10. Love is a never-ending onion
    I never realized there are many layers to love. I assumed that love is an emotion that is complete, not something that grows. For me, my love for my son keeps peeling deeper and deeper and when I think I can’t love him more, I do.

    Please post in the comment box what you’ve learned about being a mom or a dad. I would love to hear from you.  


Only 2 days left to enter to win a $25 Amazon Gift Card through a Rafflecopter giveaway.

Please let me know if you like the prize offered or would prefer something different in the comments below. This will be the first of four giveaways in the next 22 days of the campaign.

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So far my novel How the Fat Girl Got Thin has been hot and trending for the past days. Except I woke up this morning to it off the list. So, anyone reading this please nominate my book. As an added bonus you get a free copy, for your nomination.

Day 27 of the Kindle Scout Campign

Moms Write with Amber Roshay

Nominate – How the Fat Girl Got Thin on Kindle Scout

I’ve only been on this ride for a few days, but already the highs and lows have been extreme. First of all, it’s hard to promote oneself if you’ve never actually done it before. The learning curve of integrating the different social media sites with your promotion takes time. Constantly reaching out to friends and family takes initiative and just when you think you have a handle on it, a new day arrives and new efforts begin. But I’m happy to report that How the Fat Girl Got Thin is Hot and Trending on Kindle Scout. I’ve never been considered hot and trending before, but the thrill of viewing this on a minute-to-minute basis makes me so thankful for my supporters. And a little spicy.

I’ve also realized that I’m having flashbacks to my fundraising days in San Francisco…

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Baby News & Book Nomination

Eli_Cristian_Couch Potatos
I love reading blogs, but have a hard time writing them. So I’ve made an August resolution of writing more of them to chronicle the ups and downs of motherhood. Well, I’m now almost 6 months prego with baby #2. We found out it was a girl and this sent us over the crib with joy. Although another boy would’ve been perfect as well. I love the idea of two brothers exploring the wilds of California together. But a girl it shall be. I did have some disconcerting news of a Echogenic Intracardiac focus (EIF)spot on her heart. They discovered it in a follow-up anatomy scan. EIF’s don’t cause any problems for the growth of the heart, but they’re associated with downs syndrome. Although some research indicates there isn’t a direct link and others says there is a slight one. Either way this was hard to hear. I did have the NIPT test at around 12 weeks, which came back negative for any fetal abnormalities and the anatomy scan found no other markers. The test is 99% accurate, so basically there is a 1% possibility. I have a comprehensive scan next week to look at the heart again. My doctor isn’t worried, and I’m trying not to be. Sometimes I think modern medicine makes everything a lot more complicated. Then I remember that thanks to science I have my Little Eli.

Eli_supermarket car.jpg
There is a lot to update about Eli. He started walking around 11 months and when he does he has this hip jiggle with a zombie arm raise, coupled with the biggest “I’m so cool” smile that watching him walk is pure joy. Except for the big fall on the pavement he took at daycare that left him looking like baby Rocky. He has feet shaped like empanadas and he loves to curl his toes, so it’s surprising he gets anywhere. Oh but he does. I knew kids have lots of energy, but it’s non-stop action from 6 am to 7 pm. And being pregnant chasing him around makes bedtime all I think about.

Right now it’s such a sweet phase with him. He’s sleeping good and eating well and seems to be incredibly happy. My house is a wreck, and I’m starting to balloon like a Christmas ham, but overall everything is sailing peacefully. I just can’t stop worrying about the little girl’s heart.

On a personal note (yes, moms have a life) . . .

Some of you know that I wrote a novel titled: How the Fat Girl Got Thin. For those of you who don’t, it’s a fictionalized story of my time spent living and teaching in a village in southern Thailand. My intention was always to have it published, but time and life got away with me and there it sat on my bookshelf. A friend of mine recommended that I join Kindle Scout, in hopes of securing a publishing contract. Kindle Scout, for a lack of a better analogy, is the American Idol for publishing.

Kindle Scout is a publishing program through Amazon and books selected are guaranteed publication on Kindle, their e-book platform. What is different about Kindle Scout is that prospective authors use social media to reach as many supporters as possible who then nominate the work. Thus, the more nominations the book receives, the bigger chance of being published on Kindle Scout.

It’s exciting to be taking on this endeavor because regardless of How the Fat Girl Got Thin becomes published at least it will have the chance of reaching a wider audience. To make this happen I need your support.

To nominate How the Fat Girl Got Thin, click on the link below.


If you have an Amazon account, you will need to sign-in and then click the nominate button. Registering for an Amazon account will only take a few minutes with no other obligation. It’s also noteworthy to mention that if my book is selected you’ll receive a complimentary advance copy.

In addition to your nomination, if you think it’s appropriate, please share this post and tell as many people as possible to nominate How the Fat Girl Got Thin. The novel took over four years to write and is an exploration of culture, friendship, and love. For me, it represents how travel, teaching, and culture transform personal and ideological identity. My time spent living abroad taught me to experience the world from multiple perspectives and appreciate where I came from.

Please nominate How the Fat Girl Got Thin.

A million thanks,

Amber Roshay
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If the nominate link doesn’t work, you can copy and paste the link below in your browser to reach the nomination page.




I tried to conceive for over three years. For some this isn’t that long,  but for me it was a very dark period in my life. There were days of constant tears, isolation, and depression. The doctors told me that it would be hard for me to conceive without the help of IVF. After researching every fertility clinic in my area, we finally chose one in Mexico. We couldn’t afford treatment in the U.S.

It worked. I was ecstatic. Seeing Eli’s heartbeat on the monitor at 6.5 weeks was one of the best days of my life. I left the clinic walking on air.

My pregnancy turned into high risk, but this was okay in many ways because I got to have weekly ultrasounds. For a scared mama afraid of pregnancy loss those ultrasounds gave me a life line. Eli arrived full of vigor and sweetness. After 26 hours of labor and then a cesarean they placed him on my chest and our eyes connected. The second best day of my life. Fast forward 7 months and the little guy is thriving. Well, he did start daycare and has been sick constantly for 1 month. But this is building his immune system. Or this is what I keep telling myself because nonstop illness in an infant is rough. I’m a master at the rectal thermometer and snot sucker.

Also, a sick baby usually means a sick mommy and daddy. So, yes I became ill with a high temperature and nausea. Then the tiredness settled in and wouldn’t leave. I mean it wouldn’t leave. Then an idea pinged, maybe I was pregnant. No, I told myself. I’m infertile. Eli was a miracle. I pushed this thought away. I had just returned to work, lost all the baby weight, and had found myself a little bit again. The universe isn’t that cruel.

Two days later a Halo sack I had ordered for Eli arrived. I opened it and instead of sending me the blue one with cars, they sent me the pink one with flowers. I froze. You see right before I found out I was pregnant with Eli, a baby package I had sent to my friend was returned to me because I had written the wrong address.  The wrong Halo sack sent alarms bells peeling through every crevice of my body. I literally had to sit down.

Still, I procrastinated taking a test. I couldn’t be pregnant. I’m 40 years old with a limited amount of eggs, a short luteal phase, and no desire to be a mom again so quickly. Yes, that’s true. I always knew that I wanted two but after having one, I know how much work it is and how much it takes to be a mom.

I found myself peeing on a stick, placing it on the counter, pressing start on the timer, and walking away. Memories flooded of doing the very same thing months before and not being able to tear my eyes away from the blinking light. The timer went off.

I am pregnant.

Yes, that’s right. The woman who thought she could never conceive without the help of science was pregnant without even trying and shocked to her core. I still am. I haven’t been able to wrap my mind around it. I’m freaking out. How did this happen? The only thing I can figure is I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. I joined Weight Watchers in December and the program is all about healthy eating. I don’t consume sugar, caffeine, or alcohol. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, nuts, and lean meats and fish. I exercise almost every day. I really took on the idea that all the exercise you really need is 22 minutes a day.

Still, I’m in shock. I know there are those who have struggled endlessly with fertility who would love to be in my shoes. Or those who have struggled and want a second child but cringe at the thought of going through the process again. Well, I must have activated my reproduction abilities because now I’m due to have a baby in December. IN DECEMBER! I don’t know whether to cry or jump for joy. I feel guilty about the crying part. I’m scared I won’t be able to handle another baby. I’m scared my husband will freak. And I’m tired. I feel nauseous. My house is dirty. Everything seems overwhelming.

I’m pregnant! Joyful yet scared.


Sarah Starting Over

Sarah Starting Over.jpgNow that Eli’s sleeping through the night (yes, there is a God), I’ve had some time to read. Sure, it’s a fleeting 20 minutes before I pass out, but nonetheless I get to feel like a frivolous woman again. I get to indulge. What I’ve been indulging in lately is a new novel by MJ Greenway. Sarah Starting Over is part romance, part mystery, set in a cool seaside town.   But the heart of the story is Sarah working through her grief over her husband’s sudden and mysterious death a year ago. Grieving her husband is more difficult because she’s raising her young son Milo  who also struggles with his own loss.

Along comes Greyson, a hot PI who offers to help Sarah investigate her husband’s death. At first their relationship is strictly professional but slowly an attraction builds. When Sarah learns that Greyson has lost his leg, she realizes that they both have scars to mend and as the hunt for her husband’s killer intensifies, so does their love.

It brings them closer to a second chance.

I highly recommend this page turner, not only if you enjoy romances or mysteries but if you’ve ever lost someone you’ve loved or know someone who has. For me it reminded me how much I lost when I was struggling with my infertility and how the birth of Eli gave me my second chance.


The novel is only 99 cents on Amazon Kindle or $7.99 for the paperback. And it’s a quick read for those who only have a short time before the little one calls.

Check it out!

Sarah Starting Over

MJ Greenway’s Author Blog:

Back to Work

After 7 months of enjoying little Eli, I went back to work. I would like to say that the transition has been easy but that would be a lie. It’s been grueling.

I had no idea how hard it would be to drop him off at daycare. I knew that it would logically but nothing prepares the heart. Then after only 1.5 days in daycare the center calls to tell me he’s spewing green phlegm from his nose and mouth AND his breathing is labored. We rushed him to the hospital and it turned out to be the flu. Apparently, babies breath heavy when there is a sudden onset of a fever. As soon as I saw him, I knew he was fine. He smiled up at me with his charming grin that he likes to flash for anyone willing to give him the time. Still, it was a scare to end my first work week.

After his temperature subsided, diarrhea arrived in all its green wonder and then I got sick, followed by my husband and by Sunday I thought, hmm, what else could happen? Well, Eli pulled up for the first time when I wasn’t there. Now, this might not seem like much to most but for the past 7 months I’ve been with him for every major/minor milestone and for the first time I wasn’t there.  The tears came then.

But I have to work. Financially this isn’t an option. And to be honest I love my job. It’s a huge part of who I am and it’s nice to return to the land of no naps and breast milk. I truly wish there was two of me. One that stays and cuddles Eli all day and one that gets to be independent.

I really hope this week turns out better. Eli_Jeans